As I took my piece of paper and began writing down areas in my life that I was not allowing the Lord's light to shine on, I began to feel so guilty and overwhelmed. How could I claim to be a follower of Jesus, when there were still so many areas of my life that I was falling short in. I sat their in the room feeling ashamed. As I wrote my secrets down, I tried the best I could to cover what I had already written with my arm, so no one could see. I did not want any of my friends to know my list of personal failures.
I felt overwhelmed, by my own filthiness. I had so many areas in my life to work on. I thought "I'm never going to get past these issues, this stuff is too much for me to overcome. Some of the things I wrote on the paper were sins that I had struggled with, conquered (I thought), and that now, had poked their ugly heads back up into my life. I remember thinking "am I forever stuck in this place of sinfulness"? To be honest with you, I felt like crying, and was starting to regret having attended the study that night. Then, finally the time of self refection was over, I could fold my paper back in half and hide my secrets away from my own thoughts, and anyone else's wandering eyes.
Then the teacher instructed us to write something on the outside of the little sin booklet we had all just made. She had us write this sentence in big capital letters....
AND THE DARKNESS DID NOT OVERCOME IT. JOHN 1:5
As I scratched these words out onto the white paper that lay in my lap, a feeling of incredible relief washed over me. THE DARKNESS DOES NOT OVERCOME IT! It wasn't anything new that I had just written on my paper. However, it was an earth shattering message. What I had just wrote on my paper was the gospel. Something that I chose to believe in for myself at the age of 11, but continually need reminding of.
I used to feel stupid sometimes, when people would ask me what God had been teaching me, because often my reply would not be anything deep or new but it would be the gospel. Again. I would think, "I've been a Christian for awhile now, shouldn't I be learning some new stuff"... However, I've stopped feeling stupid for that. Can we ever mature past the point of needing the gospel? The greatest teaching we can ever learn and should be glad to re-learn again, and again is the story of Gods divine, and heroic rescue. How can we graduate past Christ on the cross..but thats a side note, not the point.
The point is the hopelessness I was experiencing while writing on that paper was alleviated. Its true that those sins, the shame, was more than I could overcome myself. However, sin (or darkness) has no power over light. Christ the light of all man, conquered death and sin on the cross. Jesus is not only able to help me stop sinning in this life, but when I fail, I am no longer guilty. God does not condemn me, because Christ has taken the consequences of sin on my behalf. Not only has he done those things but He has also made it possible for me to one day live where there will be no more struggle with sin. What a beautiful message.
This means that for the millions of little girls who live around the world in sexual slavery, the darkness they live in, cannot overcome Christ's light. For the homes across America that are being wrecked by affairs and divorce, Christ's light can overcome their darkness. For the heart that beats in my chest and loves sin, yet claims to love Christ, even that darkness, cannot overcome Christ's light, and that means there is hope. There is hope for you, for me, and for millions around the world who are overcome by the darkness. There is one man who is not overcome and He is fighting on our behalf.
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